Cant jokes
I wonder if Stephen Hawking has ever watched Avengers: Endgame... Oh wait, he can't.
What does this joke and half a deck of cards have in common? You can't even deal with it!
After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer.
The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.
JFK: Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
The power of yeet.
I can't do this - YEET!
I'm not good at this - YEET!
I'm not old enough - YEET!
Why can’t an orphan take medicine?
They need parental supervision.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is...
Why can't Mexicans cross the border? They always sneak powder in.
Why do kids like to pick on orphans?
Because they can't call their parents.
There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?
Home Depot.
What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!
Not funny, here’s another.
Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
Yo mama is so ugly, Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix you!"
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
The most famous line from Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar is “Et tu, Brute?” Why can’t he just speak plain English?
Why can’t an orphan play baseball??
They can’t hit a home run! 😂
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home.