Cant jokes

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't make it to home.

Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.

What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

What about the glue?

I knew you'd get stuck there.

Why can’t orphans live?

They don’t have parents.

Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.

Where can't orphans park?

Parent child.

Why can't 12 boys go down the elevator? Because they have nothing to press the buttons.

You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.

Why can't orphans have sex?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

Why can't orphans buy chips?

Because they're family sized!

Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because it can’t find home.

What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?

You can't run over a yellow line.

If you cut off your head, you can't breathe.

You also can't breathe if you die.

So why isn't it debreathiation?

I hate school. I mean, why can't you pull out a 12 gauge and shoot everyone, including the teachers?! This generation is too soft, man.

Why is an orphan crying about its family?

Because it can't "let it go."

They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.

What do an orphan's parents have in common with Nemo? They all can't be found.

How many people can jump higher than a mountain? None. Mountains can't jump.

Why can't an orphan be in a relationship?

They have no one to call "daddy."

You're so poor that you can't pay for a public school.