Cant jokes

One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."

Hey, wanna hear an abortion joke? Never mind, I can't deliver it.

So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.

Why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.

Can't wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait...

Why can't orphans play baseball?

'Cause they don't know where home is.

I would try to make a Fortnite joke, but I can't seem to build on it.

What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?

You can’t abuse an alligator.

You can't lose Kahoot if you "kashoot" the class first.

Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.

So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."

And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"

Q: Why are orphans bad at baseball?

A: They can’t find home.

Why can't dinosaurs talk?

Because they are all dead.

I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

What's yellow and can't swim?

Georgie.

How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.

Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.

To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.

Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.