Cant jokes
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course, houses can't jump.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why can't you buy an iPhone X?
It's too expensive.
Why can’t the T-Rex clap his hands?
Because he is DEAD.
Wow, I can't believe you'd take the time to read this!
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.
Why can't orphans go to homecoming? Because they don't have a home to go to.
What dog can’t see a dog that’s blind?
What did the sunglasses say to the banana?
Nothing, sunglasses can’t talk.
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
What did the lampost say to the other lampost?
Nothing, because it can't speak.
Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.
One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"
The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?
Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!
My brother can't wait for spring... he wet his plants!
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."