Cant jokes

Cancer

  • 1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.

    2: I'm dying, finally.

    3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.

    On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/

  • 9
  • Penis

  • A drunk guy asked his penis: 《Tell me, how can you get shorter and longer and I can't?》

    《Why don't you speak to me?》

    《Stop getting shorter and longer or I will choke you.》

    《Oh yeah, I like it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)》

    Hhhhhhhhh ♪(┌・。・)┌

  • 1
  • Hypocrisy

  • A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordon Ramsay's F-king cooking show!

    Husband: "Stop watching that f-king sh*t! You can't cook to save your life!"

    Wife: "So what?! You watch porn, don't you?!"

  • 5
  • Zoo

  • Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.

    Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.

    Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!