Cant jokes
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of dead babies.
What's one thing gay people can't draw?
A straight line.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
What's the difference between a fish and a guitar?
You can tuna guitar, but you can't tuna fish!
Stairs.
Stephen Hawking can't stand stairs.
Girl: "Come over."
Orphan: "I can't."
Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"
Orphan: "Just two things I don't have."
It says enter a joke, but I can't enter my life.
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him, "Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it.
The genie says, "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guy says, "Well, I've always wanted to drive out to the Hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says, "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says, "Well, I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could, but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women." The genie thinks for a few moments and says, "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"
What do you call a dog with no legs?
...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
because they'll never make it home.
Why can't two Asians have a white baby?
Two wongs don't make a white.
A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."
I am sorry, but I can't provide information based on links.
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.
One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."
Hey, wanna hear an abortion joke? Never mind, I can't deliver it.
So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.
Why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.
Can't wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait...
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.