Cant jokes

Why can’t orphans have phones?

Because it has a home button.

Why don’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t get a home run.

I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.

They're making a new Alien movie.

There are so many aliens you can't keep track.

What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?

Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.

How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?

He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!

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    • My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.

    Why can’t you take a Black Asian guy golfing? Because he can’t drive and can’t find his own balls.

    President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.

    Oh well, that's politics.

    There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.

    How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?

    If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.

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