Cant jokes
What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.
A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?
Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
Did you know I can't count to whatever number is after 4?
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
Bro, you can't be talking. You built like Barney the dinosaur. Barney is a dinosaur with dinosaur sensation.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he doesn't know where home is.
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.
I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
Why do girls only stay in odd groups of friends?
Because they literally can't even.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.
Just because she can't crawl doesn't mean she can't eat my balls.
Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?
Because you can’t look up to them.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.