Back

Cant jokes

Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.

Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.

Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"

my grandfather cant a woman's taco anymore cause his balls fell off from getting to many tacos

I saw a man trying to rape a dog. I decided to help. The dog can't stand a chance against the both of us.

Why can't orphans go to sleepovers?

Their parents never say yes.

Why can't homeless people be gay?

They don't have a closet to get out of.

Why can't Juice Wrld play Black Ops II?

Because he can't handle 6 perks.

What does Nemo have in common with my dad?

They both can't be found.

Why can't orphans have a home button on their phone?

Because they don't have homes.

Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.

Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"

Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"

Boy: "What do you mean?"

Friend and me: "We can show you."

Me: "I will tie the rope."

Friend: "I will push the chair."