Canning Jokes

Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones

North Tower: Hey south tower we can talk later I gotta catch a plane

Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.

But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.

Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!

Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.

Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!

What is the similarity between math and buildings?

Two parallel lines can be intersected by a plane.

There is no way you can fit in there.

Says who?

Your mom.

When?

Last night.

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.

I can also tell if they are standing.

Yo mama's so poor that when I was walking down the street, I saw her kicking the trash can and I asked "what are you doing" and she said "I'm moving"