Canning jokes
What can orphans not do in school?
Boy, your forehead so big, I can make a launchpad on that shit!
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family.
MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.
How are baseball and an orphan different?
A baseball game you can do a home run.
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?" The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off."
Your mama is so stupid.
Your dad said, "You're driving me crazy," so your mom handed him the keys and said, "You can drive."
What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?
What can you catch, but not throw?
You're so skinny, you can barely fit through a door crack.
I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!
Jake: Can I go outside?
Mom: Did you clean your room?
Jake: No.
Mom: Then f*ck no.
Jake: Alright, bet.
(Brother named No)
Your forehead is so leaned back you can see the dinosaurs.
Hey guys, can we stop making these jokes? If my mom sees this, I will never see the sun again.
Oh . . .
:(
Continue.
Wanna know who can jump the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.
You can only say "Kobe" now when you're playing flight simulator.
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"
Why do women have small feet?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."