Cannibal jokes
what do you call a baby in an oven?
my next meal.
Three guys landed on a cannibal island. The cannibal chef told them if they wanted to live, they had to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to him, and he would tell them what to do.
So the first guy brings 10 apples, and the chef said if he could shove all 10 of those in his ass without making a sound, he could live. He was three apples in and made a sound, and they ate him. The second guy brought grapes; nine grapes in, and he burst out laughing. The cannibals ate him. Then the first guy said, "Why'd you laugh? You were almost there!" The other guy who had the grapes said, "I couldn't help it, I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples."
Jeffrey Dahmer was eating at 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.
I would kill for something to eat--the cannibal.
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"
So, I met this girl and she was a 9 out of 10. I met this other girl who was 7 years old. The 7-year-old ate my 9 out of 10 girl because 7 was a psychopath.
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Crackers.
Me: Hey Jim!
Jim: I'm now a cannibal.
Me: WAIT, JIM! N-
What happens to a cannibal who shows up late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder.
What did the cannibal say to the other?
"Can I practise on you?"
Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late?
His wife gave him the cold shoulder.
Cancer.
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”
People are like potatoes.
We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
Q: What did the cannibal say to the leper?
A: You gonna eat that?
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
Why is 7 afraid of 6?
Because 7 is a vegetarian and 6 is a cannibal.