Camp jokes
Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?
A: At least you don't die when you shower.
What is the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school?
Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.
*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*
Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”
Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”
Teacher: “Why?”
Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”
Junkyard dogs may be mean, but the meanest dogs are the ones guarding concentration camps.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
That camping trip was in-tents.
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
Why do some people hate camping?
It's in tents.
Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."
Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."
What’s the difference between a Jew and an American? The American makes it out of camp.
We went running on our camping trip. It was past tents.
Where's the best place to spawn camp at the hospital?
The maternity ward.
"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."
"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.
Adding a "gl" in front of "camping" doesn't make it any better.
If you add a "gl" in front of "Adolf Hitler," it doesn't make him a great guy.
One time in camp, I kissed my bunkmate Bret in the shower. He cupped my breasts and lathered them in Prell, but I'm totally not gay... :)
I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".
Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.