Call jokes

What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?

Special forces.

Btw, I'm 13.

Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.

What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.

What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.

What do you call a 90-year-old black man?

Antique farming equipment.

Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?

A: Retired Farming Machinery.

What do you call a retard in a house fire?

Flame Retardant.

Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a "day".

What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.

What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?

Father Les.

I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.

I got the newest Call of Duty game! I got a 200 kill streak, then I went home and played COD.

What do you call a hot tub full of special ed students?

Vegetable Soup.

Why do you call a man that is physically handicapped and German?

A physically handicapped bisexual man that is promiscuous and German.

What do you call 4 Mexicans stuck in quick sand?

Quatro Sinco.

Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.

A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation, and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she's away.

On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going, he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.

The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, "You can't tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn't get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day, you could have said that she died from complications."

The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, "Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can't get down..."

What do you call a lost Indian woman? Ms. Singh.

What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? An avalanche.

What about Mexicans you may ask? A mudslide.

What about black people running down a hill?? A jailbreak.

What do you call an Indian electrician?

Ashok 😂