Call jokes
What do you call a cat that walks slowly?
CATerpillar
I'd call BlessedBrian a tool, but at least a tool serves a purpose.
What do you call a house party for slaves?
An auction house.
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
You call it Hell. I call it Saunaworld DX.
What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can actually call home.
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
What do you call a male robot who wants to be a girl?
A trans-former.
What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?
"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"
Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?
A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.
What do you call an army of autistic people?
Special forces!
What do you call an autistic kid with a rocket ship? A cocker.
What do you call chill legumes?
Hippeas.
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
What do Call of Duty players say when they shoot up a school?
654-721-8940
(If you understand the joke, you're a god.)
What do you call a helicopter, elephant, and rhino?
Hellephino (Hell if I know)
Jon and Amanpreet were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest picking two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they got them correct, they’re deemed cured and free to go.
Jon was called into the doctor’s office first and asked if he understood that he’d be free if he answered the questions correctly. The doctor said, “Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?” Jon said, “I’d be half blind.” “That’s correct. What if I poked out both eyes?” “I’d be completely blind.” The doctor stood up, shook Jon’s hand, and told him he was free.
On Jon’s way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Jon mentioned the exam to Amanpreet. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers. So Amanpreet came in. The doctor went thru the formalities and asked, “What would happen if I cut off one ear?” Amanpreet, remembering what Jon had said was the correct answer said, “I’d be half blind.” The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. “What if I cut off the other ear?” “I’d be completely blind,” Amanpreet answered. “Amanpreet, can you explain how you’d be *blind*?” “My hat would fall down over my eyes.”
I don’t call it special ED, I call it mixed vegetables.
- What do you call a dog that can do magic?
- A labracadabrador.
What do you call a singer who can't make a song?
Taylor Swift.