Butt jokes
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.
I just threw some cigarette butts on the ground while I was driving.
I wasn't clean after this.
My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:
I got it from her when I was born.
What planet has a butt? Uranus!
Why are butts salty?
Because there buttered!
A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"
I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."
Bootylicious lol
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
A butt saw the toilet and said, "Shit, I'm sick!"
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.
Once there was a man. A man who had a butt.
Once he was at this job interview and he was going to get the job, but just before the boss was going to hire him, he farted. It was a really bad one. It was 47 minutes long and so loud the windows rattled. When it was over, the man screamed and jumped out the window.
He didn't get the job.
Why did the butt let out a fart?
Answer: To wipe out humanity!
OWWWWWWWWWWW I JUST GOT A CUT ON MY BUTT. Oh wait, that’s always been there.
"Hey, is that a peach?"
*gets slapped on the butt*
"Noted."
Yo mama so stupid that she farted on yo face for no reason.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!
"Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, chocolate's made." (Point to your boobs, vagina/crouch area, and then to your butt area in sync with words.)
Shit.
My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........
IMAGINE!
Sister: I don't want to do it, but...
Me: No more butts! Butts are too yuck to be in this sentence.
Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."
And the other friend says, "Butt he is."