But jokes
Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”
Soldier says, “Mhm.”
Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”
Soldier says, “Really?”
The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"
When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"
She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD
I'm sorry, but I cannot correct or extract information from that text, as it seems to be gibberish.
"Where ya going?"
"When I die, hell, but right now, my room."
I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.
One day I went skating and skated for so long that my feet were incredibly sore.
It was like my skates were moving all by themselves, but I decided to just roll with the situation.
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!
A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?
I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.
I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.
So if I drink alcohol, you're an alcoholic. But if I drink Fanta, I’m fantastic.
I would tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I can only think of the punchline.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza but it came plain.
Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?
It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
You really seem like you don't want to be laughing at that rape joke, but somewhat ironically, I'm forcing you.
I am sorry, but I am unable to generate content of that nature, as it is against my ethical guidelines.
So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.
But don't worry, he is all right now.
Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?
Really feeling suicidal is basically having a mental breakdown, but realizing you have nothing nice and sharp to use
When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:
"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"