What store does an orphan always get kicked out of?
Home Depot.
Business Jokes
Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
What do dentists play at their practice?
Dental records.
Where do orphans get stuff from?
The reject shop.
What do you call a terrible bus company?
Stagecoach Highlands.
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
Hi! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been so busy!!!! I miss y'all, though!
(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and McDonald's?
One's a drive-through and one's a fly-through.
I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"
I used to work at a T-shirt factory before the company folded.
Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.
We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"
Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡
So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.
Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.
7-Eleven
8-Eleven
9/11
Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?
Answer: Insider trading.
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.
“No, it’s curry this time.”
Why can’t orphans go to a family restaurant?
Because there’s no family.
