New Burning Jokes - Page 8 - Worst Jokes Ever

What burns up a football stadium?

A football match.

Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.

God creates a wasp :)

God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.

Angel: okay... a bug.

God: now give it's face a sword, but it has a hole so it's basically a mouth.

Angel: weird.. but okay...

God: and give it wings.

Angel: eh, not half bad Go-

God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS

Angel: *shook* o-okay

God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.

Angel: . - .

God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give 'em a taste 'o that! *evil grin*

Angel: *cries*

Angel: *whispers; I'm so sorry..*

Why did the man put himself on fire?

To BURN Calories.

"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"

I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.

I joke about 9/11 because if I did it, it would have a tendency to crash and burn.

What is the best thing about being buried alive or burning to death?

No funeral costs.

It was September 10, 2001, when I stayed up watching TV shows.

I woke up late for work at The World Trade Center, but it was burning. I said out loud, "I was late! I'm happy I was late to work! I mean... I could've di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.

Yo momma's so hairy that when the baby came out, it got rug burn.

Once my friend's bakery burned down... His business is toast.

I'd make 9/11 jokes, but they'd just crash and burn.

Never joke about 9/11, they'll just crash and burn.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.

Sans: I like eating ketchup, don't believe me? It's ASRIEL as it gets!

UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!!

Ink sans: umm lust? That's INKAPPROPRIATE!

Fell sans: I hate these double standards...if you burn a body at a crematorium you're doing "a good job," do it at home and your "destroying evidence."

Error sans: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.