Bullet

Bullet jokes

What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"

Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.

  • 1

    • Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"

    Guy: That's probably because you're single.

    An assassin is about to shoot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience."

  • 1

    • At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.

    I went to the shooting range the other day. After a while, I realized I was the only one there. So, I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene. Man, I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.

  • 0

    • Today, my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings. When my brother walked past, my mom asked me a question: "What do you think of going through kids' heads during a school shooting?" That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom, "Bullets." We don't talk about this anymore.

  • 1

    • What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.

  • 0

    • If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?

    None, the rest fly away.

    Chuck Norris: "I block bullets with my beard." Abraham Lincoln: "I catch bullets with my skull."

  • 1

    • *Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."

    Person 2: "Probably Bullets."

    Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"

    Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."

    Person 1: "...."

    Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."

  • 3

    • What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.

    I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."