What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.
Bullet Jokes
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
A bullet is like an arrow.
Nothing can stop it from going through your head.
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
Are you a bullet?
*gets shot*
How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired!
Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.
A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.
One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."
A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.
Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"
Bullets.
What's the difference between a cat and a human? About 500 bullets.
If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The guy behind the bar says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets!"
JFK: Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?
At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.
A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and says, "Who the fuck's been fucking my wife?" The room goes silent. The guy in the back finishes his beer and says, "You ain't got enough bullets."
A man comes home and hears his wife talking about having sex at the club. The man busts into the club with a revolver and says, "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE?" Well, everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets."
