Bruise

Bruise Jokes

My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.

My Friend said having sex is alot like your first football game

Your bloody and bruised but at least your dad was there

It was September 10, 2001 when I stayed up watching TV shows. I woke up late to work at The World Trade Center. But it was burning. I said out loud, " I was late! I'm happy I was late to work! I mean.. I could've di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.

What do you say to a woman who is completely beaten up on her face, full of bruises and a broken jaw?

Will you listen now?!?!?

I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.

"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.

"Boxing?"

"No, ... hurdles."

2