Breakfast jokes
What did the one-handed man have for breakfast this morning?
Finger food.
I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."
What cereal do I eat?
Captain Bolts.
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
Why does the egg crack? Cos it's sad.
Today, my mother was making breakfast. As she was tired, my brother asked if there was anything to do today.
She responded with a list:
- Take out the trash.
- Clean your room.
- Make lunch and be sure to butter the electrical sockets.
That’s all sweetie!
P = Person (not original "pun")
P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!
(Communications with this person are now blocked)
Timmy has 5 apples.
His train is 7 minutes early.
Calculate the mass of the sun.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it got mugged.
McDonald's :)
What did the meditating egg say?
A) Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmlet!
I think you're eggcellent!
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
I have breakfast with my boys.
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if it's poisoned.
Then the antidote becomes the most important.
Say "toast" three times. Spell "toast" three times. What do you put in a toaster? The answer?
It was 7:00 a.m. when Billy ran downstairs after a long night of sleep. He got to the kitchen where his mother and father sat. "What would you like for breakfast?" Billy's mom asked politely. Billy replied with, "Whatever Dad gave you last night in your bedroom would be great! You seemed to like it very much!"
If I busted an egg on your head.... the yolk would be on you... ha ha ha!!!
Which one of Lord Arthur's knights invented the round table?
Sir Cumference.