Both jokes

I saw a man trying to rape a dog. I decided to help. The dog can't stand a chance against the both of us.

Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.

Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"

What's the same thing between milk and a kid with cancer?

They both have an expiry date.

There is one difference between autistic kids and vegetarians.

They're both vegetables in serotonin ways.

What do the Twin Towers and murder victims have in common?

Both were owned by their own kind.

What's the difference between a cheater and your mom?

They both cheated!

What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?

Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.

What do emos and a bird nest have in common?

They both hang from a tree.

What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?

Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.

What do Hiroshima and Nagasaki share in common with balls?

They both drop.

Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?

A. Nothing, they both die at ten.

How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.

What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?

They both choose who they want.

Q. What do Kenny's dick and this joke have in common?

A. They're both really short.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were out on a hike. They had been going all day, so they decided to make camp and stay for the night. They both woke up at 3 A.M.

Holmes said, "Look up, Watson, what can you see?"

"Judging from the position of the stars, it looks like it's about 3 A.M."

"What else, Watson?"

"It looks like it will be a beautiful day tomorrow."

"What Else, Watson?"

"What am I supposed to see, Holmes?"

"Elementary my dear Watson, someone stole our tent!"

What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?

None.

They're both imaginary.

So my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child. I was with him and they both approached us and they said only £50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me. I was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friend's uncle killed my dad.

The kid was never seen again. Her name was Madeleine McCann. I think I'm the only one who knows where she is, but overall the head from the hooker was good.

What do McDonalds and priests both do?

They both put their meat between 10-year-old buns.

What do my baby and dinosaurs have in common? They are both dead.

Q: What’s the difference between a priest and McDonald’s?

A: Nothing! They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.