Both jokes

What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?

They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.

What does a rifle and a microwave have in common?

They both go "Ping" when they are done.

What are the similarities of an orphan and a water fountain?

They both sprout water.

Kid: I want to be like Batman.

Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.

Genie: I told you.

Kid: .............................................

What do Roblox bots do that's both a type of meat and an annoying thing?

Spam.

What type of clock is both cringe and an app?

TikTok.

The bright side of this pandemic is now both my hands look equally chapped and raw.

What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?

They both have red circles on their bodies.

Thanks Ethan for all you've done. We've both made mistakes when all is said and done, but just thanks for being a good friend. This is officially my last post on here, Ethan-Real 1.

What do math and me on P-hub have in common?

They are both hard.

I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂

What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?

Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

They both used to be straight.

Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.

Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?

A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.

If I agreed with Leo, then that wouldn’t solve anything. It would just make BOTH of us dumb.

Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.

What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?

If you throw water over them, they both die...

Two drunk men spot a pig on some old farmer's land.

And they were real hungry (or so they said), and they both decided to take the pig with them into their car and eat it somewhere.

And so they did, and the farmer came out with a gun while they hurriedly drove off, and the farmer said, "Well goddammit, if it was a pig they wanted, why didn't they just take my wife?"

Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them, but the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.

The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, “Shove it up your butt, if you laugh we kill you.” So, he shoves the peach up his butt and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native Americans kill him. They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, “I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?” The second guy says, “Oh yea, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”