Born Jokes

I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, How his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and HOW he was born. 😏

Bro you were born in a local 7 eleven bathroom

you were born on a highway in a car crash i wonder why

: A man dies of old age on his 25 birthday. How is this possible? Answer: He was born on February 29.

My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are "Your not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "Your right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"

9 months before I was born ,

I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.

When you were born your mother said, oh what a treasure, your father said, yeah let’s go burry it

i always felt like a man trapped in a womans body. But then I was born.

But In my defense , I was young then and I had a womb without a view.

daughter:where was i born Dad:Alabama daughter :that is nice mum:We have never been to Alabama Dad:RUN

Little boy asked his dad why was he was born black. Father replied, so the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin. Then he asks why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire. So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you. Then what are we doing living in Rochdale. (England)

Robin asks Batman what are you getting your parents for Christmas Batman gets mad slaps Robin and runs off crying

now you know why Batman beyond was born when Bruce died cause of death: suicide

Mom: That's why your dad left you.

Me: Why?

Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.

Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!

Mom: Your dad had a heart attack 2 weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!

(This actually did happen in real life) -_-

A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?" Her mother smiled and replied: Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day. The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy tool the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so hight that we fucked without a condom!

Yo mama so old I bet she was born when Dinosaurs was made and also she killed them with they breath😭😭

u were born on the highway, thats where are all the accidents happen ;)

if babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born.

When I was born I saw you. At the adoption center alone.that day your dad got milk.😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

Englishman: We named our son George since he was born on saint Georges day Irishman: We called our daughter valentine since she was born on valentines day Scotsman: We named our son pancake because he was born on pancake day!