Born jokes

What day are twins born the most?

Toos-day.

I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!

Son: Dad, how was I born?

Dad: Your mum's a hoe.

Son: OK, what's a hoe?

Dad: Your mum.

Yo mama is so huge, when she was born everyone died.

Boy: I'm dead.

Girl: Is that why you're so ugly?

Boy: No, I was just born this way.

I have special needs, and I was born with it.

You were born on the freeway, you know why?

Because that's where a lot of accidents happen. 😈

Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?

Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!

Why are Indians dark?

Because they are born and bred in chicken curry.

CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.

Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.

Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod

Bro, you were born in a local 7-Eleven bathroom.

You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.

I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏

My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"

A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?

Answer: He was born on February 29.

9 months before I was born,

I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.

When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."

The way you are so ugly your parents even regret the day you were born.

The way you are so black when your mom is bathing you in the dark, she has to put flour in the water to see you.

🤣🤣🤣

The last time your hairline connected was when George Washington was born.

Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?

You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-

(Destroys phone cutely)