if it is some-ones birthday say this for a joke a long time ago in a far away galaxy
YOU WERE BORN!!!!
I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.
What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident
An amputation
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
What happens when you bring a paedophile to a babies birthday party. You will have even more birthday parties to go to.
Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday?
They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.
What is the difference between a Chick pea and a Garbanzo bean? I've never had a Garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.
Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we'll die.
We're all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.
Went to my friend's house, fucked his sister.
I had a fun funeral / birthday.
Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: why? Friend: I'm color blind
What did hitler get for his 6th birth day???
A KEWsy burger and an easy bake oven
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday. She thought it was cheap; I thought it was pretty sweet.
“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
A little boy was given a bicycle and a soccer ball for his birthday, but why was the little boy unhappy?
Because the little boy had no legs.
Two friends who've been bros for forever see each other in Wal-Mart in the card section. The first guy asks what he got his wife for her birthday. The second guy tells him he got her a Maserati and a card. The first guy tells him he got his wife a card and a dildo for her birthday.
The second guy asks why he got his wife a dildo for her birthday. The first guy says, "If she doesn't like the card I got her, then she can go fuck herself!"
Q. What did Hitler give he's niece for her birthday A. An easy bake oven
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Aparently that’s where most accidents happen.
Billy got a bike and a soccer ball for his birthday from his uncle, but he was very upset. Why? Because he has no legs.
I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.
