Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a big bill.
What talks high pitched and can't fly?
A gay man in Iran.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?
Because then they would be called bagels! πππππππππππππ
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
What do you call a running chicken?
Scared.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt, quack!
So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child.
Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," says Satan, "What is it?"
The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl."
Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?"
The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."
What do you call an owl with armor?
A Knight Owl!
Nice! Angry Birds really has improved.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
At least when I fucked it.
What is something you canβt say in a superhero movie?
βIs it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, itβs heading straight for the World Trade Center.β
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
Whatβs the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
What do you call a white duck?
A quacker.
What do you call a sick eagle?
Ill-eagle! π
What kind of birds stick together?
Vel-crows.
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
