Bird jokes
Osama Bin Laden is the best Angry Birds player of all time.
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"
Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"
What talks high pitched and can't fly?
A gay man in Iran.
Nice! Angry Birds really has improved.
Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a big bill.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?
Because then they would be called bagels! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I played the Angry Birds theme while watching a 9/11 documentary.
What’s the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
A straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-do!"
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do!"
When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
What do you call a running chicken?
Scared.
So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child.
Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," says Satan, "What is it?"
The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl."
Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?"
The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt, quack!
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
What do you call an owl with armor?
A Knight Owl!
What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
At least when I fucked it.
If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?
A swallow.
What do birds and planes have in common?
They both fly into building windows.
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”