Bird jokes
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
What do you call a white duck?
A quacker.
What do you call a sick eagle?
Ill-eagle! 😂
What kind of birds stick together?
Vel-crows.
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
By the law, you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."
I like penguins.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who.
It is an owl!
What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.
Why does a woodpecker have a beak?
So as to not smash his head against the tree.
Why didn't the seagull fly over the bay? Because it would be a bagel.
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!
Animal jokes, eh?
Toucan play at that game.
How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?
Because they both have eyes.
My aim is cursed; one of my Angry Birds hit a field.
What if Flappy Bird was with the Twin Towers?
What's the difference between a bird and a kid on the roof?
The bird can fly off the roof.