The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."
I like penguins.
What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who.
It is an owl!
Why does a woodpecker have a beak?
So as to not smash his head against the tree.
Why didn't the seagull fly over the bay? Because it would be a bagel.
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
Animal jokes, eh?
Toucan play at that game.
My aim is cursed; one of my Angry Birds hit a field.
What's the difference between a bird and a kid on the roof?
The bird can fly off the roof.
How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?
Because they both have eyes.
What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot.
What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A headbanger.
What do you call a two-dimensional owl? A Paper Towl!
Why is the bald eagle bald?
Because it has no hair.
It has feathers. LOL.
When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.
Bro, yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this:
"Error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance."
Anyone know what bird that is?
A baby penguin sat on an iceberg. The baby penguin watched the Titanic sink.
