Bird jokes
My grandma always told my dad if a bird ever got in your house/truck, someone would die later that exact day.
She found out she had cancer. 11 months later, my grandpa died of a stroke. I hope to see them in heaven. I’d like to meet them. Pls comment good things. I really, really love them, even though I didn’t get to meet them. 😭😭😭
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
One day the teacher said, "There are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. How many are left?" The teacher calls on lil Johnny. "None," the teacher said, "no but try again." Lil Johnny says, "None, because if you shoot one the rest get scared and leave." The teacher said, "Not quite, but I like the way you think."
Lil Johnny then says, "Alright teacher, I have one for you. There are 3 women sitting on a bench, one's sucking it, the other is licking it, and the last one is biting it. Which one is married?" The teacher then says, "The one sucking it, of course!" Lil Johnny then says, "No, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think!"
What did the rooster say to the hen? Goodbye.
What is the most annoying thing your parents say to you, and what is the dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you?
The most annoying thing your parents can say: "Finish your dinner, there are starving kids in Africa!" No, you can't have any dessert until you finish your dinner. (See how annoying that is!)
The dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you: "Why is your name Crayla? Why is your last name Goldburg? Is it like a gold bird!" (That is really annoying if you ask me!)
Thanks for reading this...bye!
He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.
A chicken is delicious.
Q: Why do birds need feathers?
A: To cover up their butt quack!
My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.
That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
"Killed two birds with one stone"? Pfft, I once killed two people with one bullet.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A rooster clucks defiance!
What do you call seagulls that fly over a bay? Bay-gulls.
What did the bird say to the other bird?
Nothing, because birds can't talk.
Are you having rabbit and duck for dinner?
Yeah.
Why?
Because I got too obsessed with hares.
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Answer: A FLAP.
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a big bill.
Why didn't the seagull fly over the bay? Because it would be a bagel.
Why does a woodpecker have a beak?
So as to not smash his head against the tree.