Bigger jokes
Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.
When Mother Teresa went to heaven, she was greeted by Saint Peter with a halo for her dedication to the needy. After walking around for a while, she saw Lady Diana with a bigger halo. She got angry at Lady Diana and went to Saint Peter and asked him why she had a bigger one, and Saint Peter said, "Oh, that’s not a halo, that’s a steering wheel."
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
Your butt is bigger than Uranus!
I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.
What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"
Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.
A black guy walks into a store to buy some watermelon and fried chicken. The cashier says, "That'll be $20." He pulls out his wallet, but it's empty. Suddenly, a bigger black guy bursts in, grabs him, and says, "Time to pay up, n***a!" Then he bends him over the counter and fucks him in the ass.
Bro, your toenails are bigger than your IQ.
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.
What's bigger than Kurt Cobain's head?
What do you mean? He doesn't have one.
Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.
Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."
Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."
"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."
Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."
A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says, "What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?" The boy cries.
Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says, "You gonna tell your mom?", the little boy says, "Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over."
If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!
I wonder why the plane got bigger and bigger, then it hit me.
The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...
And then it hit me.