Biden jokes
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?
Your mom finishes.
Why did Joe Biden go to the hospital? Because he couldn't stop Putin.
Why did Joe Biden pull out of the Afghanistan war?
Because it was over 18 years old.
We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Biden, no cash, and no hope.
Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.
Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"
Your hairline was so fat that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.
I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.
Yo mama so ugly Joe Biden was jelly.
"Everyone knows I love kids better than people."
- Joe Biden. (A.K.A. Pedo Peter.)
How do you spell "cognitive mess?"
J.O.E. B.I.D.E.N.
Joe Biden said he was going to a petting zoo.
Trump said schools are not petting zoos.
Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.
Joe Biden deez nuts.
Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?
He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.