God said, "Let there be light," and it was lit!
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, he got nailed before he died!
Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day.
Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.
"Correct," says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.
"Correct again," says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the devil read the Bible.
How does Moses prepare his tea? -- Hebrews it.
I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.
Which makes me an eighth-theist.
Where did Noah keep his bees? -- In the ark hives.
Jesus seemed like he was probably a good guy; healed the sick, fed the hungry, and gave good advice.
Jesus had only one flaw: he was always hanging around.
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
Hebrews.
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
