Being jokes
Why can't orphans be gay? They have nobody to call "daddy."
Three men are outside Heaven's gates waiting to go through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them, "Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven."
The first guy says, "I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times." The angel gives him an old model pick up. The second guy says, "11 years and only once," and is granted a Mercedes.
The last man says, "20 years and not once. I loved her with all my heart," and with the angel impressed, he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later, the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says, "I know we are dead, but it could be much worse."
The guy looks up and says, "How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard!"
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
Nina, you better run to hell. You're going there anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don't be mean to Alex!!!!!!!!!!! He is sweet, kind, loving, and protective!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?
Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."
Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!
Orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be disappointed.
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What’s the difference between being a genius and being an idiot?
Being a genius has its limits.
Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be water melon.
Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”
Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”
My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..
They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.
Abortion is beautiful. I wish we could all be aborted.
I met an amazing girl online. Smart, sexy... uninhibited.
Of course it turned out to be a 12 year old paraplegic boy... I have to admit... The sex was disappointing.
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
A boi found a magic vase and a genie came out and told him he had one wish. The boy said, "I wanna be like Batman." The genie said, "OK, your wish is granted."
The boy came home later that day and his parents were dead.
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.
Why can't an orphan be a criminal?
Because they aren't wanted.
There is gonna be a huge party at the orphanage tonight because the parents ain't home.