Being jokes
Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a few hours. Light him on fire, he'll be warm the rest of his life.
Couldn't be me being an orphan.
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
Roses are red, violets are blue. You belong in a zoo, but don't worry, I'll be there too. Just not in a cage, I'll be laughing at you.
Are you twinning today? Because The Rock would be shocked!
You were supposed to be born in the tree.
The sticks were your siblings.
You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.
People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
Me: I wouldn’t want to be with a shitmate.
Shitmate: You’re so shitable.
Me: Bring banana ice cream.
Shitmate: Never happening.
You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."
You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."
Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.
She got on the scale, said "to be continued."
I am gay, is that ok?
I be on top sucking dick all day. I make him bust every day.
Why do orphans want to become criminals? To know what it feels like to be wanted.
Children in the Twin Towers be like: "Look, Mum, it's a plane!"
What are two plus sides to being an orphan?
1. All your snacks are family sized.
2. No one can make jokes about your mama.
It's tiring being straight 24/7.
Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.
Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.