Being jokes
A teacher asks her class, βWhat do you want to be when you grow up?β Little Johnny says βI wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.β
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. βAnd you, Susie?β the teacher asks. Susie says βI wanna be Johnnyβs b*tch.β
Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!
I want to tell you a joke about 9/11... but I'm afraid it will be the bomb.
Guys, depression cannot be turned into a joke.
"{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discuss courses of action, and collection." End of log"
Why are all orphans criminals?
Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
Whatβs the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.
Why do orphans become criminals? Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.
Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?
Search up biblically accurate angels.
I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal.
Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want.
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.
Orphans are the best people to bully. They have no parents.
I would make a joke, but it won't be as explosive as the others.
How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.