Behavior jokes
Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?
Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.
Mom: Can you hear them?
Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.
Mom: Why do you think that?
Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they just sit and cry in the dark.
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."
Yo mama is so lazy that the only letters she knows are "NO".
Did you hear about the guy that posts all of the "Hairline Jokes"?
Answer: Yeah, he's a COMPLETE IDIOT!
If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.
Your momma is so stupid, she farted and turned the radio on to cover up the smell.
Why did the kidnapper cross the road?
To get the kids at the playground.
Should I slap Flynn's ass?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get on the person's face.
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
Knock knock... Who's there? Surprise! Surprise who? Surprise, mother fucker!
I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"
She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"
I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"
Where's your off button?
You realize we are tolerating you, right?
What do birds and autistic people have in common?
They both flap their arms.
When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;
After I see an anime boy acting cool,
Me at school acting cool:
My brothers: "He's just acting cool."
Me: I'm gonna kill u 0.0
Everyone is able to be stupid, but you're just abusing the privilege.