Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
"I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."
The boys joking be like:
One guy: "Balls!"
All the other guys: "Hahahahaha!"
When you see your mom.
Me: bruh
Her: Are you serious right now bro?
Me: Yeah no shit.
Her: *slaps me*
You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.
Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.
Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.
Your mama is so ugly.
The Buddhist monks broke their vow of silence.
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
Your money, you bully's everything you hate.
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
Tiktoker: I will kill anyone who pours milk before cereal.
Depressed kid tiktok reply: *pours milk before cereal, pours cereal then takes a bite* I'll wait.
My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.
Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.
Son: Okay, I'll do it!
5 hours later...
Son: I'm done!
Dad: I lied.
Son: So did I!
A special quote: “No, Mackenzie! You're the savage beast!”
What do emos and ninjas both have in common? They both hide and cut things.
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"
