When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.
But you know you live alone
my mom told me to go to bed but then I grabbed a drink went in their room to say goodnight and they looked like adam and eve on steroids
What is a kids favorite thing to do with their dad? Play pretend dog in the bed.
Q : What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A : I can jump on my bed. A : And I use a pillow on both of them.
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually."
little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor
I woke up on the floor this morning ,I think I woke up on the wrong side thou
What does a woman call Stormzy in bed ?
Stiff chocolate
Knock, knock. (Whose there?) Bill Cosby. (Bill Cosby who?) Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
What is found under Michael Jacksons pillow? Billies-jeans
my ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends. so she said i was usless in bed. should have seen her face when they all disagreed.
Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like: Jackson: CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION???
Dad: no Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital .........because she was crummy what did the toilet say to the other toilet .........you look flushed what has 1 head 1 foot and 4 legs ...........a bed
Mom:its time for sleep.Baby:is that what you think huh.Mom:*gives baby pacifier*.Baby:nice try hobo.Mom:well ill come back later to see if hes gone asleep.*few hours later*Baby:*still awake* Mom:why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!.Baby:Lol i told you nice try haha
When younger girls say I want my period or it will not be bad
*eating chocolate in bed crying * 😂😂 My face at them when they say that 🤣🙄😵 Them I got my period *them hurting*. Me: told u
what do you call a tamal thats in a bed
tamaleto
Boyfreaind- let go to bed Girlfriend- no Boyfriend- why Girlfriend-because you want sex Boyfriend- no i dont NEXT MINUT The nan could hear banging
If your sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell
Good night
