Batman jokes

What did one orphan say to the other orphan?

"Robin! Jump in the Batmobile."

Joker gives Batman a phone.

Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."

Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"

Why does Batman’s mask only cover half of his face?

So the police can see that he’s white.

Robin: "The car's not working."

Batman: "Did you check the battery?"

Robin: "What's a tery?"

So, there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, "what is one plus one?" She said, "I HATE YOU." Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, "My buns are burning." Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Bobby said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" The principal yelled, "HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?!" Then he said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, "my buns are burning."

What did one orphan say to another orphan?

"Get in the batmobile, Robin!"

What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.

Orphan: "I want to be a superhero."

Me: "You should be Batman."

Also me: *starts laughing* because Batman doesn't have parents...

Where does the Batman go to pee?

The Batroom.

Q: What’s the difference between Black Panther and Batman?

A: Batman “returns.”

What's the difference between Batman and a Black man???

Batman can go out at night without Robin.

What do you call a child version of Batman?

The Raped Crusader.

What happens when Batman sees Catwoman?

The Dark Knight Rises.

What do you call it when Batman skips church?

Christian Bale.

What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman?

Batman returns.

Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?

Batman: A dick.

Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!

Your hairline design was used as the Batman logo!

Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.

Genie: Your wish is granted.

Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.

What does a South African Batman wear? A cape.

If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?

"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."