Vigilante jokes
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because it was Batman!
Cause I am Batman!
Orphan: I want to be like Batman.
Orphan worker: You are already like him, honey.
Where would Batman get his freak on at? The Batcave or the bat strip club?
Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
What do you call a rich orphan?
Batman.
What is Batman's favorite food?
Justice.
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.
Why doesn't Batman have super vision?
His parents died.
What is Batman like?
He is an orphan.
Watchdogs.
Orphan: "I want to be a superhero."
Me: "You should be Batman."
Also me: *starts laughing* because Batman doesn't have parents...
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
Nobody:
The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:
tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!
If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.
Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.
There is a dark alley. Who do you call?
Batman.
What do you call an ant who fights crime?
A vigilANTe!
A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.
He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"
I was making fun of an orphan, then I realized he tracked me down. I made a bad decision. He was Batman!