How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
Bathroom Jokes
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”
The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”
So the boy said, “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”
When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”
The boy replied, “Half way down my leg...”
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I see you, I play with my poo.
Why don't you shower with a Pokemon? He might Pikachú.
What do Cavemen poop in?
A Neander stall.
So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in the crack.
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack! 🤣😂🤣
Why do people keep saying, "Why did the toilet paper not cross?" Because it got stuck in the crack, because it got stuck in their crack.
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet?
"You look flushed."
You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?
You're-a-peein'. European.
Why can't toilet paper cross the road? Because the toilet paper got stuck in a crack. 🤣🤣🤣
What did the plug hole say to the plug? "We are so in sync."
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
He was stuck in the crack.
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"
Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."
