Basketball jokes
So Kobe Bryant walked into a bar, just kidding, he's dead and his fame went spiraling out of control.
A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"
But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."
People said that we needed to follow in Kobe's footsteps, but there are none.
Kobe missed a lot of shots, but he sure didn’t miss the mountain.
Give Kobe a plane ticket, he'll fly for the trip, but give Kobe a helicopter and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
I'M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS!!!
What does Helen Keller say when she touches a basketball?
Duhhuuughhhr.
What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench?
The NBA.
What did the helicopter say?
Helicopter: "Kobe!"
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?
Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain."
When I went to the basketball pitch, I saw a man dribbling his own balls.
Why do basketball players hate gravity?
Because it's always bringing them down.
What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?
Tragic Johnson.
What do my mom and a basketball have in common?
My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.
What do you call basketball for disabled people?
Rocket League?
It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 1800s?
Master.
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 2000s?
Coach.
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
Why are basketball courts slippery?
Because the players dribble on it.
Kobe was a bloody legend. Now he's just bloody.