Bars jokes
A man walks into a bar.
He had to have 13 stitches!
So a woman walked into a bar. There was a man. She went up to him and said, "You're cute." He said, "Yeah, and you don't deserve equal rights."
Three gay guys walk into a bar.
There is only one stool left, what do they do?
They flip the stool over.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."
His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"
I walk into a bar. There was a line of people waiting to punch me. Yup. That was the punch line.
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
A horse walks into a bar.
Several of the patrons quickly get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."
How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.
Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."
The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
What did one condom say to the other condom as they were passing a gay bar? "Let's go get shit faced!"
How do you fit 3 gay men on a bar stool?
Flip it upside down.
A retard walks into a bar.
Bartender: Hey, retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard!
Thank you for listening to joke, sincerely - Jokeman87848584
Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.
What do you call a fart in a gay bar?
A mating call.
A man walked into a bar... He got seven stitches.
A man with a mullet walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "The party's in the back!"
A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."