Bars jokes

So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."

Two gays came into the bar and said, "What's up, you big faf mother of hell?"

A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.

A horse walked in a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?"

The Past, Present & Future walked into a bar.

It was tense!

So, three guys are walking carefully into a bar.

The bartender said, "What can I get you, gentlemen?"

A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.

Why did the rapper go to space?

To drop some ASTRONOMICAL bars!

Why did the rapper go to school?

To drop some KNOWLEDGE BARS!

I tried to get into an emo bar, but I didn't make the cut.

Two muffins are sitting in a bar.

The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."

The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.

What's the difference between a club and a bar?

I can only get dead hookers from the club alleyways.

A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.

So I walked into this bar and thought, "Wow, this is a dull joke."

I don't like jokes.

"Break me a piece of that Kit Kat bar."

An orphan walks into a bar and the barman says, "What are you doing here? You need parent's permission!"

"Oh no, who will I ask?" the orphan says.

Your mom walked into a bar and broke all the furniture.

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks...

What do you expect when you get out of a bar?

Your mom naked LOLOLOLOL.

My mom walks in a bar and the bartender says "water?" saying "we only sell beer!"