Bars jokes
A mushroom walks into a bar and tries to hit on a blonde. When she turns him down, he goes to her and says, "C'mon, I'm a fun guy!"
What's the best part of being an orphan?
All the chips and candy bars are family sized.
Two whales went to a bar.
The first whale said, "oooooooohhhhhh." The second whale said, "Greg, I think you're drunk, let's go home."
A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?
Because he is in a prison cell.
Why did the rapper join a gym?
To get those SICK BARS.
A guy walked into a bar.
A guy walked out of a bar.
A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."
So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.
Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"
Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."
A man walks into a bar. The man says, "Why the human face?" It's not funny at all.
Two Chinese men walk into a bar.
"Owwwwwwwwwww," they say instead of "ouch."
So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."
Two gays came into the bar and said, "What's up, you big faf mother of hell?"
A horse walked in a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?"
The Past, Present & Future walked into a bar.
It was tense!
A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.
A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"
Why did the rapper go to space?
To drop some ASTRONOMICAL bars!
Why did the rapper go to school?
To drop some KNOWLEDGE BARS!
I tried to get into an emo bar, but I didn't make the cut.
A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.