Bars jokes

Dwarf

A dwarf walks into a bar.

He asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him the đŸ„ƒ, and it turns into a gallon of whiskey. The bartender sees this and takes it back, and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.

Beer

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 2 beers." The bartender gives him two beers and coughs in the guy's beer bottles before giving it to him. The guy says to the bartender, "Hey, what are you doing? I didn't order Bud Lights, I want Corona beer." The bartender replies, "Sir, I gave you a mix of Bud Light and Corona, and it's on the house, everyone is drinking Corona tonight."

Rapper

Why did the rapper cross the road?

To drop some BARS on the other side.

Rapper

Why was the rapper so good at math?

Because he could count his bars.

Rapper

Why did the rapper become a chef?

Because he wanted to drop some HOT BARS in the kitchen!

Dolphin

A dolphin swims into a bar and looks at the menu. He calls the bartender and orders a pint of ginger-whale.

Picture

Copy and paste in your search bar to see watersharky's worst picture on HIS OWN DOCS.

Bar

So, Stephen Hawking walked into a bar—oh, wait a minute! Rewind!

So, Stephen Hawking rolled into a bar......

Emo people

Why do emo people go to the store with no money?

Because they just scan their bar code and get everything free.

Mom

When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.

Wife

Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?

Excitement

Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?

Because she got Avogadro's number!