Bar jokes

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Why did the pope drink horse piss? Because a priest asked him what would he do for a Klondike bar? 🤪 😜

A Liverpool fan walks into a bar and holds onto the furniture because they feel unsteady...

"You'll never walk alone!"

Why did the rapper join a gym?

To get those SICK BARS.

James Bond: Vodka martini.

Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.

James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?

A man walks into a bar and see's a naked lady, "WOOW SHES HOT!" HE picks her up and pee's on her and says, "Hi lady lets have sex."

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."

The other asks, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"

Where do terrorists go for food? The Allah snack bar.

So Kobe Bryant walked into a bar, just kidding, he's dead and his fame went spiraling out of control.

An orphan goes into a bar, and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you need parent permission to enter."

Copy and paste in your search bar to see watersharky's worst picture on HIS OWN DOCS.

The quiet kid, orphan, and school shooter walked into a bar, and he ordered a beer.

Three guys walk into a bar; the fourth one ducks.

What is the best way to pick a woman at a bar?

Spike her drink with roofies

A man said his bars are lit. I said no, because mine are fire.

An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"

The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."

A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.

What’s a rapper’s favorite exercise?

Heavy bars.

Peter Griffin walks into a bar.

Peter Griffin walks into a bar.

Peter Griffin walks into a bar.

I think I may have forgotten the rest of the joke.

After every line, say “I’m a man.”

I went to the club. (I’m a man)

I met a girl. (I’m a man)

I took her to the bar. (I’m a man)

We got some drinks. (I’m a man)

I took her home. (I’m a man)

We got in bed. (I’m a man)

She whispered in my ear... (I’m a man)

The man walks into a bar, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player. The piano player starts playing the piano. The guy next to him asks where he got that. The man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes.

So the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside. He says to the genie, "I want a million bucks." The genie snaps his fingers, and a million ducks appear in the road. The man comes back inside and says, "Hey, that genie is a little hard of hearing." The man says, "Well, did you really think I'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?"