Bank jokes

I take debt of 25,000 euro. I spend 20,000 in charity, and 5000 euro are left. I pay the debt of 2000 euro and I have to pay now 23,000 euro to bank, and 3000 euro I have in profit, 23,000 +3000 >> 26000 ;)

I'm so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.

Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?

He did not have the guts!

One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.

You might be innocent, but if you carry a large sum of cash in public, the cops won’t believe that.

Why do you go to the bank?

To get money.

When do you run from the bank?

When the cops come.

My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.

A robber robbed a bank and ran into the road and got hit by a car.

The cops said to him, "That's CARma for you!"

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds.

An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town's cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back table. The time was right to make a move. The ranger drew his revolver, charged into the cantina, and announced: "You are under arrest. I get a reward for you, dead or alive. Tell me where the money is, and I'll let you live. If you don't, I'll shoot you right here, and save myself the trouble of having to take you back to Texas alive."

But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. As it turned out, the scrawny man at the back of the bar happened to be a lawyer. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered to translate for the two of them. The ranger said: "Tell him that if he doesn't tell me where the loot is, I'll shoot him here and now." Upon hearing what the Ranger had said, and seeing the cold look in his eye, the bandit knew that the Ranger meant it - if he did not give up his loot, he was a dead man. Terrified, the bandit blurted out in Spanish that the loot was buried in an old barn at the outskirts of town. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered: "He said, 'You don't have the nerve to shoot me, Yankee swine.'"

What the hehehehehehe?

I used to work at a bank, then I lost interest.

Q: Why did the Queer get fired from the sperm bank?

A: He got caught drinking on the job.

Hello, Brudas, my name Badabeeyeabolamazoqanba. I, forty-eight-year man from Somalia. Sorry for bad England. I sold my wife for internet connect, and I am level thirteen in Roblacks. If you want to get batter in Roblacks, contact me at Gmail@borakoobama. Send me your bank account information and password. Than I well give you all the cotton you desire. Sorry for bad spelling. I kindergarden dropout.

If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.

What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?

"This is a stand-up."

I saw Stephen Hawking using an ATM. It is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?

-"I want my quarterback."

What do you call a Navajo with a lot of cash?

Johnny Cash.