Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
Back Jokes
Two guys were on a hunting trip, and after the first day of hunting, they didn’t see anything, so they decided the next day they would split up and meet back at the fire at dinner time.
After a day of hunting, they meet back at the fire, and one hunter asked the other, “How did your day go?”
The one hunter said, “I had the best day ever! I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever. We had sex for hours in every position you could think of.”
Then the other hunter asked him, “Was she a good lookin’ blond?” And he said, “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t find her head.”
Your hairline is so bad, it goes back in time!
College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.
"2001 just called and they want their towers back."
I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."
"Go back to Party City, where you belong!" — Phi Phi O’Hara, RuPaul’s Drag Race.
My boyfriend dumped me. Guess who came back crawling for his zimmer frame?
I got fired for not doing enough work.
Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
Why is the sand always pissed off?
Because the sand never waves back!
You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.
Your hairline is so far back that when I wrote it on a chalkboard, it did not erase.
If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor threw you out the window, and the window threw you back.
Why do orphans like the number seven? It's lucky, so maybe their parents will come back.
Why did Jesus come back from the dead? He forgot to tell you that you're gay!
Are your forehead and your hairline best friends because they look like they go way back?
Ugly face dude: Hi kiddo!
Kid: Hi kid. Leaves.
Kid turns back and says: Wait a minute, who are you?
