Back jokes

An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.

What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?

100 dead babies in a trash can.

What is worse than that?

There's a live one at the bottom.

What is worse than that?

It eats its way out.

What is worse than that?

It comes back for seconds.

Roses are red, Violets are twisted, Come back to my place, You might get fisted.

They are making new versions of the Star Wars films. The names have only just come out.

There is Star Wars: Attack of the Trannies, Star Wars: The Trannie Awakens, Star Wars: Rogue Trannie, Star Wars: The LGBTQ Strikes Back, and then there is Star Wars: The Last Straight Man.

What is the difference between an orphan's dad and a boomerang?

Oh... one comes back.

Attention, everyone: I will be leaving this website. Thank you everybody who has been nice to me. Maybe I’ll come back in the future, but for now: Goodbye.

Yo mama is so ugly that not even goldfish smile back at her.

Ask an orphan this: "What's the difference between cancer and your dad? Cancer comes back!"

So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...

Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.

Yo mama so fat, it took your dad eight years to come back with the milk.

I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.

1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?

2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.

3. My foot lasts longer than your life.

An orphan walks into a science lab. The lead scientist greets him and takes him to a DNA testing station. After some procedures, the results come back:

"UNKNOWN"

Zion's so fat, when he walks, he breaks his mama's back.

Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?

Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.

Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?

Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.

Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.

Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!

I might have to back down on this because it is usually aimed for little children.

I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.

AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!

I had the BEST day EVER.

1: I woke up.

2: I met someone I'm sad about.

3: I had fun and got them back again online.

But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st... XD

Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.

Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.