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Back jokes

Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.

I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.

A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.

The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”

“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”

“Ten,” says the doctor.

“What, years? Months?!”

“Nine...”

Why do orphans like the number seven? It's lucky, so maybe their parents will come back.

Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"

What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.

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  • (There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)

    Baby: Wait for me!

    (Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)

    (He squishes the child.)

    Father: Ketchup!

    Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.