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Back jokes

A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"

I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.

It took me years to figure out the Oreos served in Lunchables are knock offs. On the cover it says “Chocolate Crème Cookies.” I’ve believed this lie for as long as I can remember. Unless they were real back then? I don’t even know at this point. They sure as hell aren’t real now!

What's the different when a little boy drops in Japan then and now?

When a little boy falls today he gets back up. But then everyone fell and never came back up.

My dad never came back with the milk. My mom told me he's in the army.

A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"

Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"

A kid in the back of the class just yelled “Jenga!”

The class was watching a 9/11 documentary.

Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?

Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.

Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.

People in 1 Ad: I bet we will have the best technology ever in 2023.

2023: GO BACK NOW! THERE'S 50 THOUSAND GENDERS, DUMB GEN Z, TIK TOK, WE NEED JESUS!

A note for my History Teacher:

Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.

One day I was at school, and this girl had the nerve. She told me to go to the back of the line. I was looking behind me, and she said, "What are you looking for?" I said, "To who [are] you talking to, boo boo?" Like, is you you my momma?

Dad: "Honey, I'll be right back. I need to get some papers."

Me: "Okay." *Falls asleep.*

*Wakes up in an adoption center.*

Damn, it was those kind of papers.

My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."

Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.