Baby jokes
Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!
What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.
What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?
The nun gets pregNUNt.
I always felt like a man trapped in a woman's body. But then I was born.
But in my defense, I was young then, and I had a womb without a view.
Now from the top, make it drop, that's a WAP, that's a WAP.
What's the difference between dark humor and normal humor?
Normal humor is ten babies and one trash can.
Dark humor is one baby and ten trash cans.
Scroll down for explanation.
Ten babies in one trash can; one baby in ten means that the baby was chopped up.
What do you call a baby with red on it?
A baby in a microwave.
You were born on the highway. That's where most accidents happen.
How do you get a baby to stop crying?
Simple... you staple its mouth shut.
What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?
Baby in a blender.
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
What's the difference between my basement and my garage?
One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.
On April 1st, there was a baby born in the hospital when the doctor, out of sudden, directly takes the baby from the mother and smashes as hard as he can to the wall.
The mother crying and yelling, "What did you do? You killed my Baby!! Why did you kill my Baby?"
The doctor just laughs and says, "April, April, it was already dead."
Hahaha
So, I was watching YouTube, and then my friend says, "Those videos never get old." I replied, "Just like a Make-A-Wish kid." After I said that, he shot me in the head and said, "And now neither do you." Now I’m in Heaven, and God says to me, "Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies," and I said, "Are there summer women?" Now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero after he killed Hitler.
What do you get when you throw a pile of dead babies into a fryer?
Kentucky Fried Children!
What's it called when you eat those same babies?
Finger Lickin' Good!
I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort.
Chase cheated on Charlie with Addison Rae.
I was gonna tell a baby joke, but I had to abort.